COMPASSION LOOKS LIKE:
Me to my kids when they mess up or make a mistake:
“It’s okay sweetheart don’t worry, i know this is difficult. You might not be there just yet but you’re learning so many new skills. What did you find hard this time? How can i help you with that? Do you want to keep practicing this way… or try something new? I can see how hard you’ve worked at this and I understand your disappointment, but you know what? You never know when a breakthrough is about to happen. I’m right here with you when you’re ready to try again.”
RADICAL SELF COMPASSION LOOKS LIKE:
Me to myself when i mess up or make a mistake:
Evidence shows that speaking to ourselves with loving kindness, showing radical self compassion… is much more effective in bringing about behaviour change than beating ourselves up and allowing our inner critic to run the show.
We are much more likely to pick ourselves up and try again. ?
So if you’ve had a slip and find yourself back at day one, be gentle with yourself. What you are doing is so worthwhile and i know it isn’t easy, you will get there though. As long as you dust yourself off and try again.
Being compassionate towards ourselves is another skill that takes time to learn. If you’re new to it, start by bringing conscious awareness to how you speak to yourself, tune in, notice it. Is it a mean voice, is it harsh? If it is, shut your eyes and imagine a volume control, visualise yourself turning the volume down. Turn that voice all the way down, then imagine you are speaking to a child or someone you love and cherish. What would you say to them?
Say that to yourself because you deserve the same kind of love and compassion that you so freely give to others. You don’t have to prove anything, be anything or achieve anything to deserve that loving kindness. You are human, you were born on to this earth, you deserve it just as much as anyone else, despite the stories that your inner critic might try and tell you.
You are loved. And love you.
Keep practicing sweetheart, you’ll get there xxx