Finding My Way Home

I remember a few years ago being in my mid forties and thinking, ‘this ageing lark, it’s alright you know. I really feel like I’ve come home’. I finally felt like i’d accepted who I was and where I was in life. I was happier in my skin, more confident than I’d ever been, even after a beauty therapist told me that my – beginning to sag jawline was my ‘biggest area of concern’ ? . Although did take a few days for the image of Grannie Pigs wobbly jaw to erase itself from my mind!

Well fuck you beauty industry and fuck societys’ beauty standards! And I promptly released myself from any sense of duty to be a ‘proper woman’ (my own expectations). I decided i would no longer be participating in that particular game and just like that I stopped removing hair and didnt spend a penny inside a beauty salon again. I can’t say I’ve completely given up hair removal, but it no longer feels like a duty to the world to be hair free. I do it when i want to, which is rarely! I can now very confidently rock a skirt with hairs on my legs ?

I’ve not wasted money on a facial a wax or a manicure ever since.

One thing I hadn’t bargained for, was that once I kicked booze in to touch, the feeling of coming home to myself multiplied dramatically and set me on a path of deep deep healing. Sobriety gave me a sense of purpose and direction that I had never experienced in my life before. It is SO much more than not drinking, it is reclaiming yourself, finding your power and grabbing hold of life with both hands. It is healing old hurts, being present and intentional about the choices you make, it is planning for a future and letting go of the old limiting beliefs that held you back.

Making the choice to give up the western world’s favourite drug is a brave choice, it is an act of self love. It is standing up and saying ‘no more!! I am worth so much more than this’. It is showing up for yourself day after day and doing your best, despite how hard it can feel to begin with.

If you are on this journey already, you are brave, you are strong and you are part of the change. You are ahead of the curve. I don’t know how long it will take, 10 years maybe 20… but i firmly believe that ‘i don’t drink’ will one day become the norm and respected as much as, ‘I don’t smoke’.

Keep going you sober warrior!

10 thoughts on “Finding My Way Home

  1. I LOVE THIS!! You are so brave and honest and the most adorable child!! Nancy, thank you for bringing this new way of life further to the forefront for more to discover and enjoy. xx

  2. The beauty industry will be the end of me… And it’s challenging because I am raising teens, one of which is a 13yo girl. Where do you draw the line between letting her express herself with makeup etc and turn her attention to inner beauty?

    Anyway, I found myself more careful with negative self-talk now that I know she’s watching and listening.

    Great post!

    1. Thank you ?
      I think you are doing exactly the right thing, let her see you loving yourself.

      Im a mum of three sons, 16, 14 and 9. They have their own insecurities but I can’t imagine the pressure of todays social media driven world on a teenage girl. Share great role models, draw attention to her qualities not her looks.

      I also made a concerted effort some years ago to stop commenting on anyones appearance/weight/looks/clothing etc. I stopped buying fashion magazines, unfollowed any social media accounts that made me feel ‘less than’. It has been quite liberating!

      1. It is liberating. I also have a 16yo boy and we learn from each other as we observe or hear comments… Brotherly love toward his sister often comes across as insulting/rude (reading, etc) and it took time to teach him to adjust his words, and why… It’s a journey with those two but it’s coming along.

        Good luck feeding those boys of yours! ??

  3. I love this Nancy. I feel it rings a truth in every woman. All these choices are my own. I’m learning. I am slowly embracing my white/gray hair because it’s mine! My choices have become a blessing. I love this blog!

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